But I could not tell you what the point of doing any of it was. I mean, The Rise of Skywalker is definitely doing something doing what feels like dozens of things, really, across its heaving, bloated 141 minutes. But at least they're both doing something. I don't love either of those films fuck, I don't really even like either of those films. I say this on the occasion of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, because what the hell else are you going to say? The film completes the "Sequel Trilogy" that began and, somehow, peaked with the very neutered Star Wars: The Force Awakens in 2015 before swinging for the fences, missing, and hammering itself in its own balls with Star Wars: The Last Jedi in 2017. Like, the strongest brand name in the history of popcorn cinema. You've got to hand it to the Walt Disney Company: in only four years and two days, they managed to completely slaughter the golden goose of Star Wars.
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